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‹ Works of Jonathan Edwards, Volume Two

Jonathan Edwards · 191 of 409

PART VII. Return from his last journey to Susquehannah in a consumption, whereof he died · Part 2

He spent the four next days at Elizabeth-town, for the most part in a free and comfortable state of mind, intensely engaged in the service of God, and enjoying, at some times, the special assistances of his Spirit. On Thursday, this week, he rode to Freehold, and spent the day under considerable dejection.

“Friday, Nov. 22. Rode to Mr. Tennent’s, and from to Crossweeksung. Had but little freedom in meditation, while riding; which was a grief and burden to my soul. Oh that I could fill up all my time, whether in the house or by the way, for God! I was enabled, I think, this day to give up my soul to God, and put over all my concerns into his hands; and found some real consolation in the thought of being entirely at the divine disposal, and having no will or interest of my own. I have received my all from God; oh that I could return my all to God! Surely God is worthy of my highest affection, and most devout adoration; he is infinitely worthy, that I should make him my last end, and live for ever to him. Oh that I might never more, in any one instance, live to myself!

“Saturday, Nov. 23. Visited my people; spent the day with them: wrote some things of importance. But was pretty much dejected most of the day.”

There is nothing very material in his diary for the four next days, but what is also in his public Journal.

“Thursday, Nov. 28. I enjoyed some divine comfort and in the public exercise, and afterwards. And while riding to my lodgings, was favoured with some sweet meditations on Luke ix. 31. ‘Who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem.’ My thoughts ran with freedom, and I saw and felt what a glorious subject the death of CHRIST is for glorified souls to dwell upon in their . Oh, the death of CHRIST! how infinitely precious!”

For the three next days, see the public Journal.

“Monday, Dec. 2. Was much affected with grief, that I had not lived more to God; and felt strong resolutions to double my diligence in my Master’s service.”

After this he went to a meeting of the Presbytery at a place in New Jersey called Connecticut-Farms; which occasioned his absence from his people the remainder of this week. He speaks of some seasons of sweetness, solemnity, and spiritual affection in his absence. Lord’s day, Dec. 8. See his public Journal.

“Monday, Dec. 9. Spent most of the day in procuring provisions, in order to my setting up house-keeping among the Indians. Enjoyed little satisfaction through the day, being very much out of my element.

“Tuesday, Dec. 10. Was engaged in the same business as yesterday. Towards night, got into my own house.

“Wednesday, Dec. 11. Spent the forenoon in necessary labour about my house. In the afternoon, rode out upon business, and spent the evening with some satisfaction among friends in on a serious and profitable subject.”

Thursday, Dec. 12. See his public Journal.

“Friday, Dec. 13. Spent the day mainly in labour about my house. In the evening, spent some time in writing; but was very weary, and much outdone with the labour of the day.

“Saturday, Dec. 14. Rose early, and wrote by candlelight some considerable time: spent most of the day in writing; but was somewhat dejected. In the evening was exercised with a pain in my head.”

For the two next days see his public Journal. The remainder of this week he spent chiefly in writing: some part of the time under a degree of melancholy; but some part of it with a sweet ardency in religion.

“Saturday, Dec. 21. After my labours with the Indians, I spent some time in writing some things divine and solemn; and was much wearied with the labours of the day; found that my spirits were extremely spent, and that I could do no more. I am conscious to myself that my labours are as great and constant as my nature will bear, and that ordinarily I go to the extent of my strength; so that I do all I can: but the misery is, I do not labour with that heavenly temper, that single eye to the glory of God, that I long for.”

Lord’s day, Dec. 22. See the public Journal.

“Monday and Tuesday, Dec. 23 and 24. Spent these days in writing, with the utmost diligence. Felt in the main a sweet to the world, and a desire to live and labour only for God; but wanted more warmth and spirituality, a more sensible and affectionate regard to the glory of God.”

Wednesday, Dec. 25. See the public Journal.

“Thursday and Friday, Dec. 26 and 27. Laboured in my studies, to the utmost of my strength; and though I felt a steady disposition of mind to live to God, and that I had nothing in this world to live for; yet I did not find that sensible affection in the service of God, that I wanted to have; my heart seemed barren, though my head and hands were full of labour.”

For the four next days see his public Journal.

“Wednesday, Jan. 1, 1746. I am this day beginning a new year; and God has carried me through numerous trials and labours in the past. He has amazingly supported my feeble frame; for ‘having obtained help of God, I continue to this day.’ O that I might live nearer to God this year than I did the last! The business to which I have been called, and which I have been enabled to go through, I know, has been as great as nature could bear up under, and what would have sunk and overcome me quite, without special support. But alas, alas! though I have done the labours, and endured the trials, with what spirit have I done the one, and borne the other? how cold has been the frame of my heart oftentimes! and how little have I sensibly eyed the glory of God, in all my doings and sufferings! I have found that I could have no peace without filling up all my time with labours; and thus ‘necessity has been laid upon me;’ yea, in that respect, I have loved to labour: but the misery is, I could not sensibly labour for God, as I would have done. May I for the future be enabled more sensibly to make the glory of God my all!”

For the space from this time till the next Monday, see the public Journal.

“Monday, Jan. 6. Being very weak in body, I rode for my health. While riding, my thoughts were sweetly engaged, for a time, upon ‘the stone cut out of the mountain without hands, which brake in pieces’ all before it, and ‘waxed great, and became a great mountain, and filled the whole earth;’ and I longed that Jesus should ‘take to himself his great power, and reign to the ends of the earth.’ And oh, how sweet were the moments, wherein I felt my soul warm with hopes of the enlargement of the Redeemer’s kingdom! I wanted nothing else but that Christ should reign, to the glory of his blessed name.”

The next day he complains of want of .

“Wednesday, Jan. 8. In the evening my heart was drawn out after God in secret: my soul was refreshed and ; and, I trust, faith was in exercise. I had great hopes of the ingathering of precious souls to Christ; not only among my own people, but others also. I was sweetly resigned and composed under my bodily weakness; and was willing to live or die, and desirous to labour for God to the utmost of my strength.

“Thursday, Jan. 9. Was still very weak, and much exercised with vapoury disorders. In the evening enjoyed some enlargement and spirituality in prayer. Oh that I could always spend my time profitably, both in health and weakness!

“Friday, Jan. 10. My soul was in a sweet, calm, composed frame, and my heart filled with love to all the world; and Christian simplicity and tenderness seemed then to prevail and reign within me. Near night visited a serious baptist minister, and had some agreeable with him; and found that I could taste God in friends.”

For the four next days see the public Journal.

“Wednesday, Jan. 15. My spirits were very low and flat, and I could not but think I was a burden to God’s earth; and could scarcely look any body in the face, through shame and sense of barrenness. God pity a poor unprofitable creature!”

The two next days he had some comfort and refreshment. For the two following days see the public Journal. The next day he set out on a journey to Elizabeth-town, to confer with the Correspondents, at their meeting there; and enjoyed much spiritual refreshment from day to day, through this week. The things expressed in this space of time, are such as these; serenity, composure, sweetness, and tenderness of soul; thanksgiving to God for his success among the Indians; delight in prayer and praise; sweet and profitable meditations on various divine subjects; longing for more love, for more vigour to live to God, for a life more entirely devoted to him, that he might spend all his time profitably for God and in his cause; conversing on spiritual subjects with affection; and lamentation for unprofitableness.

“Lord’s day, Jan. 26. [At Connecticut-Farms.] Was calm and composed. Was made sensible of my utter inability to preach without divine help; and was in some good measure willing to leave it with God, to give or withhold assistance, as he saw would be most for his own glory. Was favoured with a considerable degree of assistance in my public work. After public worship, I was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful to God that he had made me in some measure faithful in addressing precious souls, but grieved that I had been no more in my work; and was tenderly affected towards all the world, longing that every sinner might be saved; and could not have entertained any bitterness towards the worst enemy living. In the evening rode to Elizabeth-town: while riding was almost constantly engaged in lifting up my heart to God, lest I should lose that sweet heavenly solemnity and composure of soul I then enjoyed. Afterwards was pleased to think that God reigneth; and thought I could never be uneasy with any of his dispensations; but must be entirely satisfied, whatever trials he should cause me or his church to encounter. Never felt more sedateness, divine serenity, and composure of mind; could freely have left the dearest earthly friend, for the society of ‘angels, and spirits of just men made perfect:’ my affections soared aloft to the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. I viewed the emptiness and unsatisfactory nature of the most desirable earthly objects, any further than God is seen in them: and longed for a life of spirituality and inward purity; without which, I saw, there could be no true pleasure.”

He retained a great degree of this excellent frame of mind the four next days. As to his public services for and among the Indians, and his success at this time, see the public Journal.

“Saturday, Feb. 1. Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a divine subject, (viz. that treated of 1 Cor. xv. 13 16. ‘But if there be no resurrection of the dead,’ &c.) that ever I remember to have had upon any subject whatsoever; and spent two or three hours in writing them. I was refreshed with this intenseness: my mind was so engaged in these meditations, I could scarcely turn it to any thing else; and indeed I could not be willing to part with so sweet an entertainment.

“Lord’s day, Feb. 2. After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent, my spirits sunk amazingly; and especially on hearing that I was so generally taken to be a Roman catholic, sent by the papists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English, that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what will not the devil do to bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God! Oh, how holy and circumspect had I need to be! Through divine goodness, I have been enabled to ’mind my own business,’ in these parts, as well as elsewhere; and to let all men, and all denominations of men, alone, as to their party notions; and only preached the plain and necessary truths of Christianity, neither inviting to, nor excluding from, my meeting any, of any sort or persuasion whatsoever. Towards night the Lord gave me freedom at the throne of , in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture: and in opening the 46th Psalm to my people, my soul confided in God, although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even condemn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly God is a ‘present help in time of trouble.’ In the evening my soul was in some measure comforted, having some hope that one poor soul was brought home to God this day; though the case did by no means appear clear. Oh that I could fill up every moment of time, during my abode here below, in the service of my God and King.

“Monday, Feb. 3. My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day before, of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender’s interest: it grieved me, that after there had been so much evidence of a glorious work of among these poor Indians, as that the most men could not but take notice of the great change made among them, so many poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a popish plot, and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the divine Spirit; and at the time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever dropped any thing inadvertently, that might give occasion to any to suspect that I was stirring up the Indians against the English: and could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindicate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of making the Indians drunk, and then cheating them out of their lands and other properties: and once, I remembered, I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, which much distressed me; thinking that it might possibly prejudice them against this work of , to their everlasting destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial; which served to humble me, and show me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being ‘wise as a serpent,’ as well as ‘harmless as a dove.’ This exercise led me often to the throne of ; and there I found some support; though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prayer, especially in the evening.”

He remained still under a degree of exercise of mind about this affair; which continued to have the same effect upon him, to cause him to reflect upon, and humble himself, and frequent the throne of : but soon found himself much more relieved and supported. He was, this week, in an extremely weak state, and obliged (as he expresses it) “to consume considerable time in diversions for his health.” For Saturday, Feb. 7. and the following, see his public Journal.

The Monday after he set out on a journey to the Forks of Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed the journey under great weakness, and sometimes was exercised with much pain; but says nothing of dejection and melancholy. He arrived at his own house at the Forks on Friday. The things appertaining to his inward frames and exercises, expressed within this week, are, sweet composure of mind; thankfulness to God for his mercies to him and others; resignation to the divine will; comfort in prayer and religious ; his heart drawn out after God, and affected with a sense of his own barrenness, as well as the fulness and freeness of divine .

“Lord’s day, Feb. 16 In the evening was in a sweet composed flame of mind. It was exceeding refreshing and comfortable to think that God had been with me, affording me some good measure of assistance. I then found freedom and sweetness in prayer and thanksgiving to God; and found my soul sweetly engaged and enlarged in prayer for dear friends and acquaintance. Blessed be the name of the Lord, that ever I am enabled to do any thing for his dear interest and kingdom. Blessed be God who enables me to he faithful. Enjoyed more resolution and courage for God, and more refreshment of spirit, than I have been favoured with for many weeks past.

“Monday, Feb. 17. I was refreshed and encouraged: found a spirit of prayer, in the evening, and earnest longings for the illumination and of these poor Indians.”

Tuesday, Feb. 18. See the public Journal.

“Wednesday, Feb. 19. My heart was comforted and refreshed, and my soul filled with longings for the of the Indians here.

“Thursday, Feb. 20. God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits, by affording me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of success. I returned home rejoicing and blessing the name of the Lord; found freedom and sweetness afterwards in secret prayer, and had my soul drawn out for dear friends. Oh, how blessed a thing is it, to labour for God faithfully, and with encouragement of success! Blessed be the Lord for ever and ever, for the assistance and comfort granted this day.

“Friday, Feb. 21. My soul was refreshed and comforted, and I could not but bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be faithful in the day past. Oh, how sweet it is to be spent and worn out for God!

“Saturday, Feb. 22. My spirits were much supported, though my bodily strength was much wasted. Oh that God would be gracious to the souls of these poor Indians!

“God has been very gracious to me this week: he has enabled me to preach every day; and has given me some assistance, and encouraging prospect of success in almost every sermon. Blessed be his name. Divers of the white people have been awakened this week, and sundry of the Indians much cured of prejudices and jealousies they had conceived against Christianity, and some seem to be really awakened.”

Lord’s day, Feb. 23. See the public Journal. The next day, he left the Forks of Delaware, to return to Crossweeksung; and spent the whole week till Saturday, before he arrived there; but preached by the way every day, excepting one; and was several times greatly assisted; and had much inward comfort, and earnest longings to fill up all his time in the service of God. He utters such expressions as these, after preaching: “Oh that I may be enabled to plead the cause of God faithfully, to my dying moment! Oh how sweet it would be to spend myself wholly for God, and in his cause, and to be freed from selfish motives in my labours.”

For Saturday and Lord’s day, March 1 and 2, see the public Journal. The four next days were spent in great bodily weakness; but he speaks of some seasons of considerable inward comfort.

“Thursday, March 6. I walked alone in the evening, and enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer, beyond what I have of late enjoyed: my soul rejoiced in my pilgrimage state, and I was delighted with the thoughts of labouring and enduring hardness for God: felt some longing desires to preach the gospel to dear immortal souls; and confided in God, that he would be with me in my work, and that he ‘never would leave nor forsake me,’ to the end of my race. Oh, may I obtain mercy of God to be faithful to my dying moment!

“Friday, March 7. In the afternoon went on in my work with freedom and cheerfulness, God assisting me; and enjoyed comfort in the evening.”

For the two next days see the public Journal.

“Monday, March 10. My soul was refreshed with freedom and enlargement; and I hope, the lively exercise of faith, in secret prayer, this night; my will was sweetly resigned to the divine will, and my hopes respecting the enlargement of the dear kingdom of Christ somewhat raised, and could commit Zion’s cause to God as his own.”

On Tuesday he speaks of some sweetness and spirituality in Christian . On Wednesday complains that he enjoyed not much comfort and satisfaction, through the day, because he did but little for God. On Thursday, spent considerable time in company, on a special occasion; but in perplexity, because without savoury religious . For Friday, Saturday, and Lord’s day, see the public Journal.

In the former part of the week following he was very ill; and also under great dejection; being, as he apprehended, rendered unserviceable by illness, and fearing that he should never be serviceable any more; and therefore exceedingly longed for death. But afterwards was more encouraged, and life appeared more desirable, because, as he says, he “had a little dawn of hope, that he might be useful in the world.” In the latter part of the week he was in some measure relieved of his illness, in the use of means prescribed by a physician. For Saturday and Lord’s day, March 22 and 23, see his public Journal.

“Monday, March 24. After the Indians were gone to their work, to clear their lands, I got alone, and poured out my soul to God, that he would smile upon these feeble beginnings, and that he would settle an Indian town, that might be a mountain of ; and found my soul much refreshed in these petitions, and much enlarged for Zion’s interest, and for numbers of dear friends in particular. My sinking spirits were revived and raised, and I felt animated in the service God has called me to. This was the dearest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found an encouraging hope, that something would be done for God, and that God would use and help me in his work. And oh, how sweet were the thoughts of labouring for God, when I felt any spirit and courage, and had any hope that ever I should be succeeded!”

The next day his schoolmaster was taken sick with a pleurisy; and he spent great part of the remainder of this week in attending him: which in his weak state was almost an overbearing burden; he being obliged constantly to wait upon him, from day to day, and to lie on the floor at night. His spirits sunk in a considerable degree, with his bodily strength, under this burden. For Saturday and Lord’s day, March 29 and 30, see the public Journal.

“Monday, March 31. Towards night enjoyed some sweet meditations on those words: ‘It is good for me to draw near to God.’ My soul, I think, had some sweet sense of what is intended in those words.”

The next day he was extremely busy in tending the schoolmaster, and in some other necessary affairs, that greatly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper business: but yet speaks of comfort and refreshment at some times of the day.

“Wednesday, April 2. Was somewhat exercised with a spiritless frame of mind; but was a little relieved and refreshed in the evening with meditation alone in the woods. But, alas! my days pass away as the chaff! it is but little I do, or can do, that turns to any account; and it is my constant misery and burden, that I am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh that I were spirit, that I might be active for God. This, (I think,) more than any thing else, makes me long, that ‘this corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put on immortality.’ God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of death, that impede my service for him.”

The next day he complains bitterly of some exercises by corruption he found in his own heart.

“Friday, April 4. Spent most of the day in writing on Rev. xxii. 17. ‘And whosoever will,’ &c. Enjoyed some freedom and encouragement in my work; and found some comfort in prayer.

“Saturday, April 5. After public worship a number of my dear Christian Indians came to my house; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My heart was knit to them; and I cannot say I have felt such a sweet and lure to the brethren for some time past; and I saw in them appearances of the same love. This gave me something of a view of the heavenly state; and particularly that part of the happiness of heaven, which consists in the communion of : and this was affecting to me.”

For the two next days see the public Journal. On Tuesday he went to a meeting of the Presbytery appointed at Elizabeth-town. In his way thither he enjoyed some sweet meditations; but after he came there he was (as he expresses it) very vapoury and melancholy, and under an awful gloom, that oppressed his mind. And this continued till Saturday evening, when he began to have some relief and encouragement. He spent the at Staten-Island; where he preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable refreshment and comfort, both in public and private. In the evening he returned to Elizabeth-town.

“Monday, April 14. My spirits this day were raised and refreshed, and my mind composed, so that I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of the day. In the evening my head was clear, my mind serene; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer, and meditation on Ps. lxxiii. 28. ‘But it is good for me to draw near to God,’ &c. Oh, how free, how comfortable, cheerful, and yet solemn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed from those damps and melancholy glooms, that I often labour under! And blessed be the Lord, I find myself relieved in this respect.

“Tuesday, April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality; and it was my burden, that I could do no more for God. Oh, my barrenness is my daily affliction and heavy load! Oh, how precious is time: and how it pains me, to see it slide away, while I do so very little to any good purpose! Oh that God would make me more fruitful and spiritual.“

The next day he speaks of his being almost overwhelmed with vapoury disorders; but yet not so as wholly to destroy the composure of his mind.

“Thursday, April 17. Enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in meditation, and composure in my studies. Spent some time in writing in the forenoon. In the afternoon spent some time in with several dear ministers. In the evening preached from Ps. lxxiii. 28. ‘But it is good for me to draw near to God.’ God helped me to feel the truth of my text, both in the first prayer and in sermon. I was enabled to pour out my soul to God, with great freedom, , and affection; and blessed be the Lord, it was a comfortable season to me. I was enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness; and divine truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted for the dear assembly, and I loved every body in it; and scarce ever felt more love to immortal souls in my life: my soul cried, ‘Oh that the dear creatures might be saved! O that God would have mercy on them!’”

He seems to have been in a very comfortable frame of mind the two next days.

“Lord’s day, April 20. Enjoyed some freedom, and, I hope, exercise of faith in prayer, in the morning; especially when I came to pray for Zion. I was free from that gloomy discouragement that so often oppresses my mind; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion’s prosperity, and the enlargement of the dear kingdom of the great Redeemer. Oh that his kingdom might come.

“Monday, April 21. Was composed and comfortable in mind most of the day; and was mercifully freed from those gloomy damps that I am frequently exercised with. Had freedom and comfort in prayer several times; and especially had some rising hopes of Zion’s enlargement and prosperity. Oh, how refreshing were these hopes to my soul! Oh that the kingdom of the dear Lord might come. Oh that the poor Indians might quickly be gathered in, in great numbers!

“Tuesday, April 22. My mind was remarkably free this day from melancholy damps and glooms, and animated in my work. I found such fresh vigour and resolution in the service of God, that the mountains seemed to become a plain before me. Oh, blessed be God for an interval of refreshment, and resolution in my Lord’s work! In the evening my soul was refreshed in secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine blessings; especially for the church of God, and his interest among my own people, and for dear friends in remote places. Oh that Zion might prosper, and precious souls he brought home to God!”

In this comfortable, frame of mind he remained the two next days. For the four days next following, viz. Friday, Saturday, Lord’s day, and Monday, see his public Journal. On Tuesday he went to Elizabeth-town, to attend the meeting of the Presbytery there: and seemed to spend the time while absent from his people on this occasion, in a free and comfortable state of mind.